Why are there no living cats on Mars?
What pets make stirring music?
Why did the teenager put his clock in the oven?
He wanted to have a hot time
What is the best way to keep your hat from falling off your head?
Don't put it on your head.
A plane full of tourists flies from Holland to Spain. He suffers an accident in France and falls. In what country should the survivors be buried?
Survivors should not be buried.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
Why did the piano student put her head on the piano?
Because she wanted to play by ear
Why did the man quit his job as a gargabe collector?
He was always down in the dumps
What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of?
How do you make the number one disappear by adding to it?
Add the letter 'G' and it becomes Gone.
Does England have a 4th of July?
Yes, right after the 3rd of July.
How many seconds are there in one year?
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.