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What was the witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling.

What kind of soda must you not drink?

Baking Soda.

If it were two hours later, it would be half as long until midnight as it would be if it were an hour later.
What time is it now?

9 p.m.

Why did the gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chickens foot.

Why can't the Tyrannosaurus rex clap?

They are extinct.

What has a tongue but can not talk. Gets around, but can not walk.

A shoe.

How much do pirates pay for corn?

A buccaneer!

What did the blanket say to the bed?

You are under cover.

I’m an instrument through which sounds are made, and yet, not something that can be played.
What am I?

Your voice.

Where does Santa put his suit after Christmas?

Santa Clauset

I begin the universe and without me there is no truth.
Who am I?

The letter u.

There are 7 pairs of shoes. Someone takes one of the shoes. How many shoes are left?

13
because 7+7=14 and 14-1=13

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