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What goes up the chimney down but cannot go down the chimney up?

An umbrella.

What would happen to the red hat when you put it into the red sea?

It will get wet.

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?

Because it ran out of juice.

I can run without ever getting tired. And whenever I run, I drive people crazy and make them unhappy. I don’t even have to move to irritate them.
What am I?

A runny nose.

I stick so strongly, yet I am not sticky in the slightest.
What am I?

Magnet.

Wednesday, Tom and Joe went to a restaurant and ate dinner. When they were done they paid for the food and left. But Tom and Joe didn't pay for the food.
Who did?

Their friend Wednesday.

I sometimes run, but never walk. You follow me wherever you go.
What am I?

Your nose.

3 2 8 4
7 6 9 3
9 5 6 4
2 1 9 ?

What number should replace the question mark?

8
In each row multiply the first and third digits to obtain the number formed by the second and fourth digits

Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?

She was on a crash diet.

What shines all day and night?

Sun (always shines but may be on the other side of the world)

Where can you find salad in a clothing store?

In the "dressing" room.

How do you make an egg roll?

Just push it.

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