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Who plays when he works and works when he plays?

Actor.

I am owned by every man, though my length differs. Their wives uses me after getting married.
What am I?

Last Name.

Using only an addition, how do you add eight 8’s and get the number 1000?

888 + 88 + 8 + 8 + 8 = 1000

I have 104 keys but I cannot open any single door.
What am I?

Keyboard.

I fly away as soon as you set me loose. People around you may slowly move away once they sense my presence.
What Am I?

Fart.

Can February march?

I don't know, but April May.

People lay me to eat but never eat me.
What am I?

Plate.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener!

What makes ice to be nice?

The letter ''n''.

Weight in my belly, trees on my back, nails in my ribs, feet i do lack.
¿What am I?

Ship.

If 1+4=5, 2+5=12, and 3+6=21;

what is 8+11?

96

a +b = c - > a*b+a
1+4 = 5 -> 1*4+1
2+5 = 12 -> 2*5 +2
……
8+11 = 96 -> 8*11+8

Your mother's brother's only brother-in-law is asleep on your couch.
Who is asleep on your couch?

Dad.

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